In 2007 when my husband and I were struggling to get and stay pregnant we skipped Christmas. At that point it has been over two years of since we started trying to start a family. We recently went through a plethora of tests at our Reproductive Endocrinologist office. It was the start of the small fortune we spent trying to have a family and we also suffered a miscarriage earlier that year after trying various methods of ART (artificial reproductive technology) like clomid/IUI, injectables/IUI. We weren’t in the mood to be social, exchange what felt like meaningless gifts, act fake happy in public only to break down when we returned home. We especially didn’t want to be around babies or kids. It was reminder of our unanswered prayers and what our hearts ached for. So, we told our family we wouldn’t be attending any Christmas gatherings. Some understood more than others. But in our minds, we thought if they truly love us, they will understand and support us. So, we booked a cozy one room cabin in the woods and packed up the two dogs and spent Christmas by ourselves. It was one most memorable Christmas my husband and I have ever had! Even though the guilt of “skipping” Christmas was hard to carry I don’t regret making that decision- even all these years later. One of the best gifts you can give yourself is self-care no matter who or what you are grieving.Change your scenery and get out of the same brain routine if only for one day or night. We did and it was exactly what we needed. Sending love to all the loss moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandmas, and grandpas this holiday season.
Leslie, Olivia’s Grace VP